Emotionally slammed by grief this week. Didn’t see this coming. Yet, as I reflect back, I’m sensing that I really miss the way my Dad would listen to me with his whole being, without judgment, and with unconditional support. I’ve had some misfires with communication in my extended family recently, and perhaps that made me acutely aware of what I’ve been missing. Love you Dad.
Just tried to do my best to accept the emotions, roll with them, NOT try to change them or fix them or blame myself for them, and to struggle through best I could. I gave myself permission to take some things off the training plan this week. (Good thing I’m on the taper!)
Sunday – off.
Monday – 30-minute run in the morning, average 9:31.
In the afternoon, did a 45-minute swim. 2 x 125m and 3 x 375m. Then a 60-minute bike ride. Did it alone in the cycling room. That doesn’t give me as good of a workout, compared with riding outside or doing a cycling class, so I had myself do three 4-minute steep uphill pushes throughout. I’d do 1 minute out of the saddle, try to hold the next minute in the saddle, then add in even more hill for another minute out of the saddle, then again holding steady in the saddle.
In the evening I had my swim lesson in the pool. It was cold! We did drills and swimming. Then we worked with the timer, trying to keep pace with the beeping by our ear. (Beep indicates arm entry on each stroke.) The instructor said that we – including me! – were in the green zone!! That’s good, although the swimming felt fast and sloppy to me. I asked if form went to complete crap, and the instructor said No. But it certainly suffered some! About 30 minutes of work during the hour long lesson, I’d guess. = 165 minutes
Tuesday – Woke up in a bad (very bad) emotional place. Dimmed. Unmotivated. Wanted to do nothing. I rescheduled a call, got up for 1 call, and was otherwise in bed until 1pm. I wasn’t low on sleep. I hadn’t drivien myself to a collapse. It was emotional grief, and I had no idea it was coming and couldn’t see a specific trigger. Awful. Might be the worst I’ve ever felt. Didn’t want to go to my scheduled massage (I love massages!!)…nothing.
I was to do a speed swim session and a 45-minute bike session. I called the swim session complete due to the previous night’s swim lesson and did 45 minutes in the cycling studio by myself in the early evening. Pretty easy ride. = 45 minutes
Wednesday – off.
Thursday – Planned 30-minute bike and 60-minute run. Didn’t do. Dimmed by grief. = 0 minutes
Friday – Thought I might do a kickboxing class int he morning. No go, stayed in bed. After my morning meeting, I went straight to the gym to do my workout. I didn’t trust myself to stop by home. I wanted to do this workout. I was especially excited to do a run and get some stress out. I did 30 minutes in the cycling studio, then I did a 60-minute run outside. The forecast indicated a 25% chance of rain. Wrong! 🙂 I got rained on, hailed on, and then baked in the sun for the last 1.5 miles. AND, I was so glad that I ran outdoors. Felt great to cover some miles. = 90 minutes
Saturday – Biked 90 minutes (45 minutes of a class, then 45 minutes by myself in the cycling studio). Then 10-minute run. Went well. = 100 minutes
TOTAL = 400 minutes = 6 hours, 40 minutes
- Swim – 75 minutes = 19%
- Bike – 225 minutes = 56%
- Run – 100 minutes = 25%
- Strength – 0 minutes = 0%
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