Coming off my sick week, I first majorly improved my relationship with the swim and then I was again plagued by doubt and then brought myself to back to a (little bit shaky) calm.
Phew. I’m tired of hearing myself lament and go on and on about swimming. Aren’t you??
But, I’m committed to processing this fully (and hopefully healthily) – so here’s how this week’s swimming emotional roller coaster ride went…
After my last swim lesson and discussion with my instructor, I was committed to writing specific drills for my warm up and cool down. This way I would get to mix them up a bit, still make sure I completed a good variety, AND not get bored with the same ‘ole routine all the time.
Then for the prescribed “main workout,” I am to set a goal for each of them, a goal that will challenge me and keep me progressing.
OK! I can do all that. I was jazzed about it. I entered all the drills and goals in my phone. I varied up the drills and felt I had a good variety. I set goals. Primarily, for long swims, I set a goal of doing 25% of them (each 4th length of the pool) bilateral. For short swims, 100 repeats, I set a goal of doing 50% bi.
I started off the week – a week with 4 swim sessions Monday through Thursday! – looking forward to executing my swim plan. I felt the goals were challenging, yet doable. I was happy. I’d found an approach to reduce the monotony and pressure of always doing the same routine in the same or faster times. These plans were engaging my mind and my desire in new ways. I was enjoying swim sessions!! My own personal miracle.
Then I talked to a couple of people. People who are swimmers – and one who’s an Ironman Wisconsin finisher – so they know what they’re talking about. Everyone (all 2 of them) were talking about how I need to get to Masters classes and how the classes would push me in ways that I never could alone. Agreed. It got me thinking. My swim speed is super slow. I need that to improve. Should I start attending Masters classes to achieve that improvement? Right now?! I felt the pressure to get to Masters, and I already felt the stress of being the one person in the class who couldn’t keep up. I could immediately feel that breathless panicky sensation that makes me want to kick and stroke frantically to get to the other side of the pool. I was worked up. I felt I should get to Masters classes. I felt terrified to go.
Then…I talked to myself! What was I doing? I had been happy and calm and excited about swimming at the beginning of the week, and now I had let myself get worked up into a frenzy. Could I go back? I decided I could and should. I had just this week moved into the next phase of routines and goals that felt good. I felt like I was challenging myself in a good way. And, most importantly, my approach had had me enjoying swimming more than I had in a while. I thought I should go back. Furthermore, as I reflected calmly on my journey, I decided that it would be best to wait a while before going to Masters classes. I don’t want to push myself to go faster and lose what precious gains I’ve made in form. And, I don’t want to go there with a low skill level, struggle, and cause myself to panic and like swimming less.
It’s not time yet. I’m not going to Masters class any time soon. And that’s that.
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